Change

We're okay now...although deep inside me, something changed in me...before we actually mend things, she said the harshest words to me...she wanted me to take back the words/changes i saw in her...and i did...because i was already too tired to fight back...i wanted things fixed...

ros has changed a lot ever since i met her...sure i may be stereotyping or something or i don't know her as much as i should be, but the change in her was too glaring...used to be, we had so much fun being together, but lately, it was more about issues, most of them not related to our relationship...

after we fixed things, i felt numb...i couldn't find the reason why i was sticking to her, fighting for what i believe in...i began to question myself...if i still love her...i saw the worst of ros...and it's more than what i've ever experienced with my exes. it's was too much for me to handle, but i survived.

a friend of mine said not to give up. i'm trying not to. i've gone too far, sacrificed too much to give up now. and i don't want to. another said to tolerate her behavior, which i am doing. i let her be. if she's happy with her life now, then i fully support it. i lowered my pride just to give in to her. despite of our differences, i always adjusted to her. it's hard. it's hella hard!

then last friday, after we got back, she texted me...

i'm so sorry eggie. i'm sorry for hurting you. you're much more important than ragnarok.

i smiled.

guess back to square 1 for us...