In Limbo

i am in limbo. i thought i'd never feel this way again but right now, i do.

ros and i have been fighting for the past 3 days...for the slightest of things which i won't divulge. whenever i try to reason out with her, she always say, "oo na ikaw na parati tama!"

what the hell did i do wrong?! for the past 3 months have been the greatest of joy for me yet the past 3 days have been pure hell. and i don't know what to do. but i'm trying my best to save the relationship we have. who wouldn't if you love her that much?

for her, her life is ragnarok. no one can take that away from her, not even me. but it's ok with me. i try to adjust my time to be with her, even if i don't have the same love for the game. but what's bad with this is because our ragnarok life seems to be controlling our real life. and it sucks big time.

she has changed in a lot of ways. she's not the same person i used to know. but i still love her for who she is. yet when i try to reach out, she pushing me back. and i don't know why.

maybe the long distance relationship has taken its toll. or maybe our differences have been too much to handle for both of us. or maybe...she's keeping something from me which she's too ashamed of telling me.

i have my faults and i deeply regretted hurting her. yet i can't do it alone. i need her cooperation too. yet she's not giving it to me. she'd rather go out and do her own stuff...without ever trying to fix the problems we're having.

my friends say just leave her alone for now. she might need some space. i agree. but i want to clarify things with her before i leave. i want to hear from her what is wrong with us, what's really bothering her.

and god-willing, i want her to be happy again.

it's MAR all over again...