Depression to the max

My life is turning upside down. I'm so depressed. Too many things have been happening all at the same time. And almost all of them are my fault. Right now, I hate myself, hate my life, and hate myself so much that I just want to end it all.

I tried everything just to keep myself intact but to no avail. I am slowly crumbling inside out. I have no one to talk to with my problems. And the one person I really wanted to talk to about them doesn't want to talk to me.

I am desperate for anything. I feel that if I don't do anything to help myself out, I just..

Just awhile ago, I was talking to my company doctor. I badly needed help. She then accepted my request and gave me this simple advice.

"Why don't you try writing your problems down?"

I thought about it and gave it a try.

So in the next few days, I'll be writing about everything. I hope this will give me some peace..